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Returned from an India trip and feeling low: How to cope with emotional jet lag

BY REKHA RADHAKRISHNAN*

So, you had an amazing India trip – met family back home, spent time with relatives, reconnected with friends, went to class reunions, shopped, and traveled – and now you are back in the US, and are feeling sad!

If this has happened to you, then know that you are not alone. This happens to a lot of people, especially when you make a trip in the winter. It can be very distressing, very confusing, and feels anti-climactic!

One feels down, misses loved ones, and wonders why we even came to the US in the first place! During your India trip you were surrounded by many people and suddenly you are feeling alone in the US, feeling isolated. One wonders, should you have just stayed back in India where life seems so happening and vibrant? These feelings can drain you out and may even make you think, why did I even make that trip to India in the first place!?

I categorize this experience, these feelings and emotions as ‘Emotional jet lag’ or EJL. Just as the body goes through jet lag and takes some time to adjust to the US time, similarly our emotional state may take time to adjust and adapt back to our life in the US. While jet lag can get resolved in a few days, EJL may take much longer. It could take weeks even months to come back to your old self. Feeling sad, lonely, having crying spells, regretting decisions – all this is a part of the process. But eventually with time one starts to adapt and adjust.

It is important to note that EJL can be more intense during winters. You come back from a trip to sunny India and it’s winter here in the US where the days are short, and it is cold and dreary. One does not feel like stepping out in the cold, or even socializing, and ends up spending too much time in front of the TV or laptop. Due to lack of sunlight, many develop Vitamin D deficiency that may cause symptoms of anxiety and depression.

  1. See things for what they are! Your trip was for a purpose and it was for a certain amount of time. Now that you are back, try to re-connect with the life you have created here. Revisit the reason why you chose to live in the US in the first place and then acknowledge the positives of that decision. If you are tempted to go back or move back, remember the phrase, the Grass is always greener on the other side. Recognize the challenges that come with living on the ‘other’ side. While meeting loved ones back home for a short period was great fun and felt warm and amazing, living in India for a longer duration may or may not bring that same experience. Life can be like a two-sided coin – with the good comes the not-so good and when you choose the ‘coin’ one gets both aspects! No situation is perfect and one has to put in the work to accept, and adjust!
  2. In winter, make an effort to spend more time in the sun. Sunlight plays a huge role in changing our state of mind. Be it walks with your pet, playing tennis or pickle ball with a friend, outdoor activities help tremendously. Your body gets exercise and it can help to boost vitamin D levels and elevate the mood.
  3. Be mindful of the time spent on social media. It can’t be avoided. Social media is a part of our lives now but it’s up to you to decide how much time you want to spend on it. While Facebook or insta posts may make it look like your friends are having the best lives, it helps to know that a lot of that is exaggerated and does not show the full, real picture. Nobody is perfect, all lives have challenges, whether people admit to it or not.
  4. Give yourself time to come out of EJL. Emotional state takes time to adjust and rushing it, being harsh on oneself won’t help. Instead create a Joy list – a list of things you enjoy doing! List out all those activities, things, people that bring joy in your life and try to incorporate joy items in your everyday life, and notice how slowly you start feeling better, one experience at a time. Share your concerns with genuine friends, and keep out the toxic people.
  5. Practice Gratitude daily. Intentionally remembering the positives in your present life, saying thanks for the blessings helps to connect back with all the good things in your life today.

But after trying all the measures you continue to feel low and your symptoms won’t go away, then it might be time to contact your medical care provider. Anxiety & depression are not to be taken lightly and need proper care and attention. Many have taken help of tools like Life Coaching, therapy, appropriate medications and improved their lives.

With time, and adequate self-care EJL will pass. Raising your awareness about this will help you deal with this the next time. You will grow and evolve as an individual. It is all a part of the human experience and journey!


Rekha Radhakrishnan is a certified coach and has helped many to deal with life challenges, improved their lives and helped them reach their best potential!

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