BY DR. UMA MAJMUDAR*
Whether you like it or not, and irrespective of whether you are a human, a beast, a bird, a plant, a tree, or even an insect, birth and death are universal, irreversible, and non-negotiable. Those sweet-scented roses blooming so beautifully in your garden today are also bound to wilt, wither, and fall off one day! As Shri Krishna says to Arjuna in the Bhagavad Gita, “Jatasya hi dhruvo mrityu” (Ch. 2, 27), meaning, “For whosoever is born, death is certain.”
Thus, if saying “alvida” or farewell to this world is a universal phenomenon, what about aging? Just as the seasons keep changing and rotating, we all go through the cycles of birth, childhood, adolescence, adulthood, old age, and death. Although these stages of life may not always occur in chronological order, old age is usually considered the “harbinger” of death in the sense that it is the very last stage of life, closest to death! And “if old age is already here, can death be far away?”
And just as no stage in life lasts forever, one can neither look nor feel young forever! No matter how much one may pamper one’s body with the most expensive cosmetics or dye one’s naturally graying hair, no one can eliminate or avoid getting old! Yes, one can slow the process of aging with a tasty but nutritious diet, regular exercise, good work habits, vitamins, certain prescribed medications, and a positive mindset, but no one can avoid getting old sooner or later! By the same token, no one can continue looking youthful and energetic forever!
This is the truth and nothing but the truth. Let me illustrate this point by telling an Indian mythological story.
Once upon a time, there was a king named Yayati who took great pride in his charming good looks, his strong, muscular body, and his extraordinary strength and vigor. According to the Mahabharata, however, King Yayati was cursed with premature old age by the sage Shukracharya after a dispute involving his wives, Devayani and Sharmishtha.
Suddenly afflicted with the frailties of old age, Yayati was shocked, shaken, and dismayed. His once-youthful body had become weak, his skin was wrinkled, and his beautiful dark hair had turned gray!
Although still in utter denial, the Raja now had no choice but to accept the harsh truth that despite his previously muscular physique and youthful looks, he was not only getting old but also looking old!
And yet, his gigantic ego refused to accept his condition! Deeply disturbed and desperate, the king wanted to move heaven and earth to regain his former youthful looks and his strong, charming, handsome body!
When Yayati pleaded with Shukracharya to reverse the curse, the sage told him that he could regain his youth if someone were willing to exchange their youth for his old age.
Consumed by the desire to be young again, King Yayati began to wonder, “What if one of my sons were willing to swap his youth for my old age?”
Blinded by desperation and his longing for youth, the king approached his five sons, Yadu, Turvasu, Druhyu, Anu, and Puru, asking whether any of them would be willing to exchange their youth for his old age.
But his four older sons refused. They were unwilling to surrender their youth and accept the weakness and limitations of old age.
Finally, Yayati turned to his youngest son, Puru, and made the same request. To his great relief, Puru agreed to sacrifice his own youth for his father’s sake.
And lo and behold! Puru took upon himself his father’s old age, becoming weak and gray-haired, while King Yayati regained the strength, vigor, and appearance of a young man!
Overjoyed, Yayati returned to a life of youthful pleasures. But even after enjoying these pleasures for many years, he discovered that his desires remained unfulfilled. The more he indulged them, the more they seemed to grow.
At last, wisdom dawned upon him. He realized that worldly desires could never be satisfied through endless indulgence, just as pouring more fuel onto a fire only makes it burn more fiercely.
Finally accepting this truth, Yayati returned his borrowed youth to Puru, took back his own old age, and made Puru his successor. He then withdrew from worldly life to pursue spiritual fulfillment.
As this mythological story illustrates, no one likes to feel, look, or get old! However, if you grasp the underlying message about the utter foolishness of holding on to youth, it will dawn upon you sooner or later that old age, or getting old, is a natural process of life, inevitable and unavoidable!
So why not accept it with a grin and make the most and the best of it? Why not embrace it with dignity and grace? Instead of looking backward, why not look forward?
And instead of moaning and groaning about your age-related aches, pains, and discomforts, why not focus on some of its positive features and hidden advantages? Why not think of these golden years as your bonus years, your blessings, and even your privilege to now focus on yourself?
Here, of course, we’re assuming that (i) you’re in reasonably good health and (ii) you have few or no financial restrictions.
If you are now free, “free at last” (to use Martin Luther King Jr.’s phrase), then why not make yourself your number one priority? Why not fulfill your hitherto unfulfilled dreams or postponed desires to travel, see, enjoy, and explore the world? Or why not learn something new, something you had always wanted to pursue but could not because of your family or other restrictions and responsibilities?
So now is your time to live your dream! This is your “just for me” time, to be, to do, to travel, to see, to explore, or maybe to do nothing but just bum around and relax!
So go ahead, without feeling guilty, and just curl up on a comfy sofa and relax. Or binge-watch your old favorite TV shows (for me, it’s The Dick Van Dyke Show or The Mary Tyler Moore Show).
Or if you’re a “book monster,” get lost in the aisles of your favorite bookstore or library, hunting for your favorite book!
Whatever is your go-to thing for fun, just do it!
You have earned that right. Until now, you’ve given yourself fully and freely to your family, to your children’s school, or perhaps you’ve volunteered for some project you so passionately believed in.
So now, in the evening of your life, it’s more than okay to live for yourself without any guilt or apology. This is your time, so live the way you want to, or as Shakespeare said, “As You Like It!”
You may follow these guidelines for your physical, mental, and spiritual well-being.
Maintaining Physical Fitness
- Walking outside in the fresh air or even inside the house.
- Jogging, even a short distance, if you can manage.
- Breathing deeply while walking, driving, climbing up and down your staircase, or traveling.
- Going to a spa or fitness center to swim, lift weights, do push-ups, or practice some yoga asanas.
- Jumping rope if you can.
- Holding weights in your hands while squatting up and down, with or without support.
- Doing any kind of calisthenic exercise that suits you.
- Dancing to a rhythmic song or any other music.
Mental, Intellectual, and Spiritual Fulfillment
Maintaining stimulating interpersonal relationships with your family, friends, neighbors, or even co-workers is important. Here are a few suggestions:
- Volunteer at a school, hospital, or even McDonald’s.
- Visit a library to immerse yourself in a juicy novel or a biography, or simply read your favorite magazines!
- Learn a new language, enroll in a dancing, painting, or gardening class, or pursue whatever you’re passionate about.
- Satisfy your wanderlust! Go, travel, and explore the world!
- For spiritual fulfillment, learn proper meditation and deep-breathing techniques. Or, for devotional worship, go to your favorite mandir or church, or engage in any other selfless or devotional activity of your choice.
Let me end by testifying from my own experience that old age, or getting old, is not a curse but a boon, a generous bonus, and a wonderful blessing that allows us to live life fully, joyfully, meaningfully, and spiritually!
*Dr. Uma Majmudar is an Atlanta-based author, scholar, educator, and longtime contributor to the Indian-American community. She holds a Ph.D. from Emory University and has taught religion and philosophy at Emory and Spelman College. She is the author of Gandhi’s Pilgrimage of Faith: From Darkness to Light and has contributed to numerous publications in the United States and India. A former editor of Voice of India, she has been actively involved in interfaith and cultural initiatives in Atlanta. In 2006, she was inducted into the Martin Luther King Jr. Collegium of Scholars at Morehouse College.
