BY VEENA RAO*
The Loss That Binds Us by Sweta Vikram is a heartfelt exploration of grief, presented as a manual filled with 108 practical tips to guide individuals through the challenging landscape of loss. Drawing from her own experience of losing her parents, Vikram’s book offers solace, understanding, and inspiration to those grappling with the overwhelming emotions of grief.
Vikram’s writing is insightful and authentic, making it a valuable resource for anyone navigating the complexities of loss. The author shares her personal journey, allowing readers to connect with her on a deeper level as they identify, understand, and accept their own experiences of grief.
The choice of 108 tips is not arbitrary; it holds cultural, spiritual, and symbolic significance. Vikram beautifully weaves together diverse cultural references, including Hindu philosophy, mathematics, and various religious beliefs, to explain the universality of grief. This intentional number serves as a comprehensive guide covering emotional and mental well-being, feelings of guilt and remorse, loss of control, and the crucial role of self-care in the healing process.
Vikram goes beyond merely acknowledging grief; she encourages readers to embrace the multifaceted aspects of their journey. The book delves into the various stages of grief, offering practical suggestions on coping mechanisms and ways to keep the spirit of loved ones alive. The final section titled “Here’s how you can keep the spirit alive” includes tips like volunteering, donating to causes, finding gratitude etc. in order for those grieving to go beyond mere acceptance of their loss, to finding a sense of purpose.
The author’s advice to “reclaim your joy” particularly caught my attention. By sharing personal anecdotes, Vikram emphasizes the importance of honoring the memories of loved ones by incorporating joy into the healing process.
Another standout aspect of the book is the recommendation to document the stories of loved ones before they pass away.
“Ask your parents (or parent figures or whoever you consider close or a significant person in your life) for their life stories. It’s the best gift you can give them—your love and attention when they are alive; It’s the best gift for yourself when they are gone. I have documented conversations, which help me understand my parents as humans before they became parents. It’s helped me immortalize them in some ways,” Vikram says.
I lost a dear friend and mother figure in 2022, and preserving her life stories in book form are one of my writing goals for the next year, hence this advice really resonated with me.
In conclusion, Vikram acknowledges loss as a lifelong journey of triggers, smiles, tears, and loads of happiness. “Acknowledge. Honor. Communicate. Be mindful, be kind, and be compassionate. Loss shouldn’t be the reason we become the kind of people we have never wanted to hang out with. Make lots of time for self-love and self-care,” Vikram says. Wisdom that is useful for anyone who has gone through the grieving process.
Vikram’s insightful prose, coupled with the thoughtful 108 tips, makes this book a trusted companion for those navigating the challenging journey of healing after loss.
About the author: Sweta Srivastava Vikram is a mindset & wellness coach, doctor of Ayurveda, global speaker, and best-selling author of 12 books.
*Veena Rao is the founding editor of NRI Pulse, and the author of the novel, Purple Lotus.
