That's what being in love
does. One is so besotted by voice or looks that one doesn't hear
what's spoken or see what's written (on the wall).
Now, those who know me, know me as one who cringes and shivers when
dogs are around. They salivate all over you, they growl, bare teeth and despite my
best behavior hold their tails very rigid and unmoved. I loved the girl,
but, the package deal wasn't what I bargained for - love me, love my dogs.
I saw her, she was hardly even listening to her dad talking to me. For her,
we just weren't even there. All she had her eyes, ears and hands for were
the bounding and leaping and licking pets of hers.
Isn't he gorgeous?
I stiffened with pride, finally some references and footnotes on me.
You should have seen him when he was just a pup! He was adorable and choo
chweet - he still is!!!
I deflated fast. This was getting nowhere.
I came back home and took a shower. I was smelling like a kennel. All night
long I heard yips, yelps and yowls in my sleep. I looked around my
apartment, a small two room affair. The very thought of six dogs prancing,
racing, chasing and yapping gave me the creeps. God! I had to do something.
I loved this girl.
I ruminated over the choices, Hobson's choices: it would be 'she and me,' it
could be 'she', 'she, me and dogs', or it should be 'just me'. Though it
fair broke my heart, the last option appeared the most rational and
practical one. Well! I could give it one last shot. I picked up the phone
and dialed.
Hi!!! said the voice at the other end, long time no see, no hear, no near: I
heard shrill barks in the background.
Su, I have to tell ask you something.
Sure, I'm waiting darling, just pop the question - the answer is ready, wow!
I heard it as bow, and stiffened.
Su, I hope you like cats?
Cats!???
Yup, Siamese cats.
Siamese what?
Cats. They are silvery golden regal pedigree felines with lustrous black
eyes and sinuous swishing tails.
CATS! They are eeks, and their slow - mo tail twitches make me see red.
What about Manx cats? Ya like them?
Manx? What the heck is that?
Manx cats - they are from the Isle of Man, tail-less.
What? No tails! Is that an animal or what? Jay, what's this catty stuff
suddenly?
Su, I have three cats at home, I lowered my voice and gently said prrrr
purrr, very cat like the take off was.
Hey Jay, what's that funny sound?
What funny sound? (I said prrrr purrr again)
There, there! That eerie drone
Oh! that's Julie, isn't she gorgeous? Actually she was so adorable and cho
chweet as a kitten, she still is!! I planted a wet noisy kiss on the back
of my hand.
You're bussing that thing?
What thing?
That CAT
Who Julie? Hush, she doesn't like to be told she is just a cat. She thinks she
is human. In fact all three of them take exception to any references to a
possible feline gene in their make-up - Hey! hey, scram, cut it out there,
leave my socks alone - that I yelled for effect.
It is six years since we've been wed. All she said was she wanted me to get
rid of the cats. And all I wanted was she move in without her dogs. We
signed the dotted the in the sub-registrar's office. It took her months to
adjust to a dog-less environ. For me, though, it was easy: in fact insanely
easy.
(The article originally appeared on www.sulekha.com).
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