“I don’t believe it!” I nearly shouted at him angrily.

How could I ever believe it? He was talking so much non-sense! He was saying that Mandakini had actually asked him to . . . . No, it could not be true! Never! 

But remember Ravi was completely drunk, anyway. Everybody knew that Lieutenant Commander Ravi Tandon was a lush when it comes to drinks. We were sprawled in his one-bedroom apartment on two single beds and it was about midnight. We had just come back from his “mess hall” where we had spent the whole evening just “shooting the breeze” with his fellow offices and he had been drinking one beer after another. Thank goodness I did not drink and had been able to support him in his staggering walk back to his quarters on the naval base. He and his fellow officers had insisted that nobody had EVER left the mess hall without a drink. After a great deal of resistance, I had been forced to drink some whisky, much to my dislike and great jubilation of the people at the mess hall, but was sober enough to bring myself and Ravi safely back to his quarters!

At his apartment his “khansama” (man-servant provided for Naval officers in India) asked us if he should “lay out the table” with some food, and though I was hungry, Ravi just asked the khansama to put extra blankets on the two single-beds in his quarters and go to sleep. The khansama, evidently knew his “sahib” very well and made some sandwiches and was good enough to put them on the coffee table in the small drawing room and I ate them, along with some leftover pastries that I found in the frig before going to bed.

I had arrived at Bombay that wet afternoon in July 1966 from the USA. Who else would meet me at the airport but Ravi, my best friend in India from childhood? My parents had moved back to Meerut in 1964 after my Dad retired to our ancestral home at Meerut, and there was really no one else to meet me at Bombay. Ravi met me at the airport, very smart in his navy blue uniform, with all the ribbons on his chest and stripes on his shoulders showing that he was perhaps the youngest Lieutenant Commander in the Indian Navy at the age of 28. With his presence, I was just whisked through the airport in no time and I was out of there within 30 minutes after deplaning. 

We had an uneventful but tiring 2-hour drive from the Santa Cruz Airport right in the Northern-most part of the City to the Southern tip of Bombay where his apartment was situated within the confines of the Naval Base at Colaba. This 2-hour trip, with the constant blaring of the car horn by his uniformed driver, and the bumps and shaking over the road, tired me more than the 6-hour non-stop plane journey from Singapore! We tried to talk in the back seat of the car, but with the noise and bumps, we quickly gave up and could exchange only a few general tit-bits of gossip. 

After allowing me to freshen up at his apartment, he took me to his mess hall at the naval base by 7 PM, local time. We had actually gone there for dinner, but it had been a “liquid dinner” at best. We sat at the bar with his fellow officers with him drinking and we had come back to his apartment without much to eat except for the munches at the bar. 

At the mess hall he introduced me to his fellow officers, “Friends, meet my cousin, Arun Sharma. He is a newly minted MBA from Columbia University at New York and is returning after 4 years in the USA”. They all came forward and many of them shook my hand. They were mostly junior to Ravi in rank and so behaved very respectfully towards him and me. Soon they were ha-ha-ing and ho-ho-ing after a few drinks that Ravi bought for them. Many formed a circle around us and started to tell stories. And as normal in these “all-boys” company, the topic quickly turned to girls. Most of the officers sitting at the bar were very eager to learn about my “adventures” in the US, especially if it related to girls. Since I did not have any “juicy” stories to relate, they themselves started taking about the “navy-brats” – the daughters of the higher-ranking naval officers and there were many of them in glittering Bombay! They started talking about who had dated whom and when, and Ravi’s name was mentioned in association with many of them. Since Ravi was the senior most of this group, he stayed a bit aloof concentrating on his drinking and just occasionally interacting with the group. 

On reaching back at his apartment we had kept chatting and reminiscing about old times and while I was eating the snacks that his khansama had thoughtfully left for us, Ravi was gulping one beer after another. I just could not believe that the man could drink this much and still be able to talk!

I was really to blame for bringing up the topic that led to this final blow-up with him. In the vein of the topic at the mess hall, I was the one who brought up the topic of Mandakini..

“Ravi..” I asked casually, pulling the extra blanket up to my chest, “..you used to be pretty friendly with Mandakini in the good old days as I remember it”.

“Oh man, you know nothing”, he said in a slow drunken drawl, continuing, “ She was really in love with me and used to come by the Deccan Queen from Poona in the mornings and go back in the evening at least once a week, just to meet me when she was at the girls hostel at Poona.”

Yes, I had suspected that Mandakini loved Ravi from the time that we had all met at Sammi’s marriage in the summer of 1957, but how could this be true? Would Mandakini have changed so much in the 4 years that I was in the US that she would actually “ditch” her classes at the Engineering College to come and visit Ravi at Bombay, a distance of nearly a 100 miles, just to see him? We were talking about a 3 to 4 hour journey one way, even if she came by the fast Deccan Queen on its daily run every morning and evening from and to Poona! But then, love does strange things to people and makes them act “stupidly” anyway! OR MAY BE, the idiot was making this all up and just “bragging” because he was drunk!

Now don’t get me wrong. He is no idiot when he is not drunk. Actually, he was pretty smart. He was very good at studies in school and with his athletic body was a “shoe-in” to be selected to the Naval Academy. He came from a very good family too and his father was known as the most honest and respected man in our community. I should know. We had been neighbors from the time that I was born and we practically grew up together.

Ravi’s family lived next door to our ancestral home in the same Mohalla (neighborhood) at Meerut when we were children. He and I were of practically the same age. He was not at all boisterous as a child, but rather a “mamma’s-boy” and very thin and always bossed about by his older sister, Sammi, who was just 4 years older to him. As he approached puberty, however, he developed into a tall and handsome fellow. Later, after he had graduated from the Naval Academy and was a commissioned Naval Officer, people often said that he was so handsome that he would beat any movie actor in looks and looked like Rock Hudson! Lucky devil! 

We were family friends from childhood, and he was more like a brother to me than anything else. But when I was about 9-10 years old, the company where my Dad worked transferred my Dad to Bombay. All of us (Dad, Mom and I) moved to Bombay in 1948. Ravi and his family stayed on at Meerut. But we visited Meerut practically every summer and winter recess as my parental grandparents still lived at Meerut, and stayed there at least a couple of weeks; many a times, I stayed on with my Mom for the full summer vacations, while Dad went back to Bombay. 

Due to his physique rather than anything else, Ravi was selected by the Indian Navy and went to Vizakapatnam to begin his training there in the fall of 1957. We, however, kept meeting him more often after that as he frequently came to Bombay, as part of his training as Bombay had a big Naval Base at Colaba in South Bombay. In fact, he was permanently posted at Bombay in March 1962 and regularly visited my parents till they moved to Meerut in 1964.


This whole episode of Mandakini started at his sister, Sammi’s marriage, anyway. Sammi was 23 years old and got married to some “phoren-return” fellow in summer 1957. By chance, it was one of the summers that we were visiting Meerut. Naturally, we too got very much involved in the marriage celebrations. Many of Ravi’s relatives came from far and near and stayed at Ravi place. 

Ravi’s Mama (Mama – term for mother’s brother), Billa, came from Chandigarah with his wife, Sheila Mami (Mami – term for mother’s brother’s wife), and with them was Mandakini, Sheila’s sister. Mandakini lived with them. Mandakini and Sheila’s parents had died in an unfortunate car accident in 1956 and since they had no other siblings, Mandakini lived with Billa and Sheila. Billa and Sheila had no children of their own and they both treated her more as their daughter than anything else. Being Ravi’s best friend, I too called Billa, Mama, and Sheila, Mami. They too treated me as if I was their real nephew. 

Mandakini was 16 years old and the most beautiful person I had ever seen till then! She had an angelic face, big beautiful eyes, soft, dark-brown hair, a perfect nose, and a smile that was out of this world! She was like a carefree bird and chirped beautifully, always ready to do any work that anyone might have for her. And oh boy! There is always much work to be done in a bride’s house at an Indian wedding!

And I fell for Mandakini as only a young 18-year old can! 

I would find any and all excuses to be near her and soon I became very friendly with her. She too seemed to enjoy my company and was free with bestowing her sweet smiles and childish laughter in my direction! But unfortunately, Ravi was her “relative” and he too was practically the same age as I was and he too was a recipient of her smiles and laughter! But somehow, Ravi seemed to always be teasing her and calling her “names” and trying to make fun of her and this disturbed me terribly and I always came to her “aid”.
But you could see that she liked him a lot and was always following him around and did not seem to mind his playful “teasing”. Nonetheless, I was her very special “confidant” and she got along better with me than with Ravi. How the two weeks that Mandakini stayed for Sammi’s wedding passed I will never know!

But the “love-bug” had really hit me hard, and I was truly in love with Mandakini! 

Now as luck would have it, my Nana and Nani (maternal grandfather and grandmother) lived at Ambala, only about 40 miles from Chandigarah, and on our trips to Meerut every vacation we would often visit Ambala too. I had always been reluctant to spend too many days at Ambala in the past, but after meeting Mandakini in 1957, I was the first to desire going to Ambala to meet my Nana and Nani. I visited Chandigarah very frequently after that as we went nearly every vacation to Ambala. I never missed a chance to go to see Mandakini and stayed at least a couple of days or more at Billa Mama and Sheila Mami’s place. Mandakini was also very friendly with me her sister and brother-in-law did not seem to mind my visits to their place. But my visits were not really “romantic” visits but rather ‘family visits” and Mandakini rarely met me alone.

I was pretty happy with this arrangement as I got to see Mandakini but never had the “guts” to express my “love” for her in any way. Moreover, I was afraid that she might already be in love with Ravi. I honestly don’t know what would have happened if I had not got admission to do graduate studies in the USA in 1961. Now I felt I had to “openly” declare my “intentions” to Mandakini as I would be gone for at least 2 to 3 years (if not more) and truly wanted to know if Mandakini would be receptive to my proposal of marriage. I was sure that Mandakini knew that I loved her, but I was not at all sure that she loved me because I suspected that she loved Ravi! Whenever we had met, she was always talking about him and inquired about him, as she knew that he was my “best friend”, though she was the one who was “related” to Ravi. 

So on my last visit to Ambala in winter 1961 (before I left for the USA in February 1962); I went to visit my Nana and Nani at Ambala (and of course, Mandakini at Chandigarah). I made it a point to “catch” Mandakini alone and with a pretext of doing some shopping to buy a “salwar-kameez” (a Punjabi dress worn by women) for my mother‘s birthday, I took Mandakini to “help” me select a suit at one of the new Malls at Chandigarah. We went to a restaurant for some snacks after having bought the salwar-kameez and while sitting on a secluded table I ventured to “pour my heart out” to Mandakini. I even told her that if she loved Ravi, I would understand, and “back-off” and sort of “withdraw” my proposal. She was not at all upset about my proposal, but got pretty upset when I brought Ravi into my talks and sort of shouted at me, telling me that why was it that I thought that we were the only two guys in the world for her! And pretending to be “angry” with me, she refused to say anything about my proposal. When we got back to her home, she evidently went and told about it to Sheila Mami. Sheila Mami really liked me a lot and I am sure she was happy that I had confirmed what she had suspected for a long time that I had serious interest in Mandakini. But for appearances and that old, rotten custom of Aan (prestige) coming before anything else, wanted a “legitimate proposal” to come from the “elders” in the family and not from the boy himself. She pretended that she knew nothing about my “proposal” to Mandakini, but make it clear in a “roundabout” fashion, talking in generalities, that “..decent folks made ‘legitimate proposals’ only through elders in the family.” I was embarrassed by these remarks of Sheila Mami and I hastily retreated to Ambala, but very confidant that if Mandakini did not object to the “legitimate proposal’ from my elders, I could marry Mandakini! 

But convincing my “elders” was another matter. I was only 23 years old and “too young to get married”. My parents and grandparents wanted me to be “able to stand on your own feet” and I was rudely told that unless I “amounted to something”, they would not make any legitimate proposals of marriage for Mandakini or anybody else! 

But the love-bug had bitten me good and strong, and even after I was in the USA, I never left hopes of marrying Mandakini (provided she did not love Ravi!). 

I got a “legitimate proposal” sent to Billa Mama and Sheila Mami “through official channels” - my maternal grandparents at Ambala - by a letter from them to Billa Mama and Sheila Mami when I completed my MBA in June 1964. Nana and Nani mentioned that I had completed my studies in the US and would be returning to India by February or March 1965 and “...now that he is qualified and since Mandakini and Arun know each other”, they would like to ask “Mandakini’s hand in marriage for Arun”. 

That unfortunate legitimate proposal was sent to Billa Mama and Sheila Mami in July 1964. Much to the surprise of all in my family, Billa Mama and Sheila Mami never responded to Nana and Nani’s letter. There was complete silence from them. My Nana and Nani were pretty hurt by Billa Mama and Sheila Mami’s behavior, but thought that because I was still in the USA they would surely write to accept the legitimate proposal after I actually came back to India. But lo and behold, in November 1964 we all received a wedding invitation to Mandakini’s marriage to some stranger in December 1964. Later on we all learned that the marriage had been done “in a hurry” and Mandakini’s husband was a pot-bellied, dark and ugly businessman, settled in Australia, who had advertised in the Times of India for a bride only in November 1964. Why Billa Mama and Sheila Mami had married lovely and beautiful Mandakini in a hurry, and that too right in the middle of her studies, to this ugly chap, and especially since they had a very tempting legitimate proposal of marriage from me and I was coming back to India only within a matter of a few more months. This was a mystery to everybody and nobody seemed to know the answer! 

Mandakini had grown from a sweet girl of 16 in 1957 to a very beautiful young lady by the time she was 20 in 1961, when I had last seen her. She was planning to go into Engineering and was a good student. She did eventually go to Poona Engineering College (though she had marks good enough to join the new Indian Institute of Technology at Madras) in the fall of 1962 and was to graduate in 1965. Why had she quit her engineering studies in the middle to marry this ugly stranger was also part of this “Mandakini’s marriage mystery”?

“You know, Arun . .”” continued Ravi, “..Mandakini was always after me from the time we met her at Sammi Jiji’s marriage. You know, I never really loved Mandakini, but just flirted with her.” 

“You bastard” I thought.

He paused to open a new pack of cigarettes from the nightstand next to his bed and lighting a cigarette and taking a big drag from it, continued, “But man, she would never leave me alone! You know, she had admission to the new IIT at Madras, but preferred lousy Poona Engineering College so that she could be close to me! She came from Chandigarah first to Bombay with Billa Mama and Sheila Mami when she was going to Poona. I made arrangements for them to stay at our base guest-quarters. She found out my schedule of work and, man, was I surprised when she came to “visit” me all by herself after a couple of months!”

He stopped for a moment to again take a puff from his cigarette and continued, “ Oh, Arun, I should have seen what was coming, but you know me. Why would I stop anybody from giving me a ‘good time’? She then would bunk classes and come see me practically every week. I did not discourage it, why should I? I was getting a ‘paka pakaya mal’ (sweet ripe dish) to flirt with and was actually happy. I had a good time with her in 1963!” 

Again puffing at his cigarette he continued, “Then she started to get serious, and wanted me to ask my parents to send Billa Mama and Sheila Mami a legitimate proposal of marriage! Man, that was just too much. I told her I would do no such thing. I could not jeopardize my naval career for her! She was pretty mad at me for a few days and did not come to visit me for the whole summer in 1964. When she returned from her summer vacations from Chandigarah in August 1964, she halted at Bombay. I was pretty surprised when she came to see me before proceeding to Poona and told me that Billa Mama and Sheila Mami were mad with her. It seems she had asked them to approach my parents with a proposal for her to marry me, but they had refused, as this was not the ‘way’ things were done. A legitimate proposal had to come from the boy’s side. Moreover, they said to her that I was a big flirt and they would never want Mandakini to marry me.” 

He halted, put out his cigarette and staggered to the bathroom, as the beers at the bar and “chota (small) pegs” at his quarters that he was constantly gulping were stressing his kidneys. He came back and again said in a drunken voice, “Haun, hum khain thai yaar?” (Yes, where were we, friend?).

Thank goodness it was dark and he could not see that I was getting mad at his rambling! I was just furious about his nonchalant behavior! The man was really a rogue! How could I have been his “best friend” for the past 28 years of my life!

He continued, just jabbering along, oblivious to whether I was listening or not, “She cried a lot then and man, you know me. I put on my charm and “muskafied” her (a colloquial Hindi term meaning “butter her up”) and got her smiling again. Then she actually begged me to make her pregnant! She said this was the only way that her sister and brother-in-law would ever agree to her marrying me. What could I do? Here was a “hot tamale” all ready for me, so I had to do her bidding, had to. . .had to. . had to..” and his voice just trailed off. 

It was then that I had shouted at him, “I don’t believe it!” But he was already snoring in his bed and even after I tried to shake him awake, he was absolutely, drunkenly, dead asleep, and I knew nothing would wake him up.

But the turmoil he had created inside me just could not let me sleep! Was Ravi telling the truth? Was it because of what Ravi was saying that Mandakini had been married to that unknown stranger in December 1964? Was Mandakini really pregnant and therefore had to be married to the first guy that came along? Had my legitimate proposal – sent by chance in July 1964 and sent through “proper” channels – been a factor in Mandakini’s decision to confront Ravi? Had Billa Mama and Sheila Mami actually asked Mandakini to accept my legitimate proposal and that had made Mandakini “go for broke” and confront Ravi? Was I, and my legitimate proposal, the root cause of poor Mandakini being married off to that poor sucker from Australia? Had she really become pregnant and that had forced Billa Mama and Sheila Mami to take the drastic step of marrying off Mandakini to the first guy that came along! And why had I not been selected, when I had “an offer on the table” ready for the picking? Was I so close to the family that it had ruined my chances? Was the fact that Ravi was my best friend prevented Mandakini from choosing me over a total stranger? And did Ravi, the swine, actually make her pregnant? And what did happen if she was really pregnant with Ravi’s child? And if she did become pregnant had Ravi refused to marry her? Did she have an abortion? Or did that stranger from Australia accept Mandakini even if she was pregnant? Boy, Oh boy! So many question, but if what Ravi was saying was true, HE WAS THE CAUSE OF ALL THIS MISFORTUNE THAT HAD BEFALLEN MY MANDAKINI. 

This dilemma kept me awake practically the whole night. I must have dozed off in the early hours of the morning, for I was rudely awakened by the Dhoodwala Bhayya (Hindi term for “milk-deliveryman, brother”) talking to the khansama as the Bhayya measured milk into a stainless steel bowl. 

I got up sleepily and looked at the adjoining bed, but it was already made up and Ravi was nowhere in sight. I asked the khansama, “Commander Sahib kahan hain? (Where is the Commander Sahib?). The khansama told me that Ravi had already left for his office at about 8 AM and it was now nearly 10 AM. He also said that Ravi would be back at about 12 Noon and had said that he would take me out for lunch. 

Have lunch with me, indeed! I wanted to strangle him. He was the culprit that had not only ruined poor Mandakini’s life, but had dealt me a “blow under the belt” by pretending to “love” Mandakini and then at the last moment evidently refusing to marry her when he had made her pregnant!

I shaved and showered and had breakfast that the khansama made for me. I went out to the small balcony jetting out of his small drawing room overlooking the Gateway of India in the distance, but saw no beauty in it! I waited for Ravi to come back to his apartment so that I could kill him!

Ravi did not come back from his office at 12 Noon, but at a few minutes past 1 PM. He was again dressed in his crisp navy blue uniform underneath which gleamed his starched white shirt. He was smiling broadly and cheerily said in his usual loud voice, “Hi, Arun, how are you, my handsome friend?” Gone was the slurry lisp of last night. There was not even a trace of the drunken man that had so cruelly ruined my whole night! It was, as though, he was another man! I don’t know how a man could be dead drunk at midnight the previous day and so awake within 12 hours! 

Very coldly I said, “Theek houn”(“I am fine” in Hindi). He may have been a lousy, low-down, stinking drunk, but the man was smart! He immediately guessed that I was mad at him, and immediately asked, “Hey, what’s up? Are you mad at me for being late? Sorry buddy, you know these darn meetings with the big shots have a life of their own. I am so sorry to keep you waiting. Don’t get mad, Arun. I will take you to a fabulous restaurant just around the corner at Cuff Parade and we will have a great Italian lunch.”

“Lunch my foot..”, I nearly screamed at him, continuing,”.. tell me what you did to Mandakini the last time you met her, you swine!”

“What, in heaven’s name, are you taking about, Arun?” he retorted, really showing surprise on his face. The man not only looked like Rock Hudson, he even acted like him! “Why, I have not even seen Mandakini for the past 3 years!” That man could lie like a sailor – which he was, I thought. 

“What do you mean you have not seen Mandakini for the past 3 years?” I nearly screamed at him, “Didn’t you tell me last night that Mandakini came to see you from Poona practically every week and stayed with you and the last time that she came to see you in August 1964 she wanted you to. .to make her pregnant?” I again screamed at him.

“Man, Arun. You must have really loved that Mandakini! Looks like you had a very bad dream last night. No wonder you were sleeping soundly when I went for work this morning. I never told you anything, young man. You have gone loco because Mandakini did not accept your marriage proposal.” The man actually sounded like he was dead serious about what he was saying. Not even a hint of guilt or deception on his face. That man would have been the best actor in Bollywood if he had just gone into the movie business! He was also so smart that it really hurt! 

Now I knew he would not admit to anything he had said last night. Was he just braggingly lying last night or was he lying now? There was no sense in arguing with him now, I thought. He will never admit to the truth when he is sober. So I just turned around and went into the bathroom just to be away from him and recompose myself. I washed my face and cooled down. I came out and just said, “Let’s go to lunch”. 

We went to lunch and he too was quieter than usual. He knew that he had made a big boo-boo. I was not going to forget what he had told me in his drunkenness and he would never admit to anything when he was sober.

I made some flimsy excuse, which I am sure, he could see right through, and opted to leave that very evening for Meerut. 

I got married in an arranged marriage in December 1966 at Agra, and though he was invited, he made some excuse for not coming to the marriage. I returned to the US in January 1967 and never met Ravi ever again!

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